Sacred Grass

The Hindu's have their cows, the French their wine; the British have their stodgy manners, and Americans their money, so why should anyone expect the Chinese not to have their own sacred thing? Perhaps no one does, for as soon as you set foot in this place, you can't help but realize, the grass is sacred. Americans tend to have a practical outlook on grass; they see it as something which looks nice but which can also be enjoyed through walking upon. The Chinese however have elevated their ideas of what it means to be grass to a whole new level. For them grass is merely to be pondered, to cover the ground and be green but never, never be walked upon.
And as far as this goes, I will give them some credit: the grass here (at least in Kunming) is always green--and I mean really, really green. They put Ireland to shame, as horrible as it is to admit it. Put I do not think the Chinese have actually developed an artistic sense of grass, since they still have not comprehended the vast enjoyment which can be gotten from treading upon grass.
On the college campus at which I'm staying, they have very much grass. Entire sections of the campus our covered in the green stuff, however not a soul walks upon it. Indeed it is as if they have dug pits and filled them with lava in the places where there is grass. I have never seen a Chinese student even dare to dash across the grass when it is dark and no one is looking. (That is a contradiction, I realize, but please, we are above such petty criticisms are we not?) I have not seen a Chinese student so much as creep a little toe onto the edge of these grassy spots.
I, of course, being American and having a healthy appreciation of the joys of walking on the grass do not often uphold China's sacred respect of grass. But I do not walk with impunity, I have been screamed at and scolded by Chinese who told me (in different words of course) "don't walk on the grass." When I ask them what else they have the grass for, inevitably the answer is, worship...well perhaps not quite that (China hasn't fallen for Shintoism yet, that I know of), however the common belief is that it is for looks. They believe this even of the grass which grows on the edge of the road and which probably dies every year from all the pollution.
I had my suspicions that they never mow the grass, instead keeping it in check with over-abundant watering, but these have been proven to be wrong. I did indeed see them "mowing" their grass the other day. Buddhist monks with small golden scissors crawled around on the lawn until it was all beautifully manicured to a healthy 2 and a 1/4 inches (or the respective length in the metric system). Effective.
Actually, after seeing this, I felt guilty walking on the grass and have since reformed my impolite ways. I now am a conscientious path-taker who will even commit the un-American action of walking out of my way to stay on the path. I know, this is a great disappointment for all of you, but I cannot forever stem the tide of influence of a nation of a billion and a half people.
My advice to you, if you ever find yourself in this neck of the woods, is to not walk on the grass.
Phil.